I remember thinking, during a worship service, how grateful I was for the cross. I was imagining myself standing at the bottom, looking down at his blood, and feeling so very overwhelmed with my own unworthiness. In the midst of this tremendous emotional drama, I heard in my mind (in my own voice…like a random thought) the words, “You are on the wrong side of the cross.” It caught me up short! What? What does that mean I thought, wrong side?
At the time, I didn’t realize the importance of that statement. I understood that it meant that I needed to get into the forgiveness side of things, but didn’t really know what that meant. But, I knew it was the Lord.
Most of my Christian walk (since 1975), I’ve felt unworthy or less than. When I was first born again, I didn’t care if I was worthy or not. I knew that I was saved, loved, forgiven, set free…had a clean slate and a new beginning. As the years went by, I started putting things on my slate. I put on a lot of “should’s”, “have to’s”, “must not’s”, etc. I also always fell short of all those goals. Some were taught to me, some were found in the Bible, and most came from my own mind.
So, I got involved in church, got counseling, studied the bible, listened to certain TV preachers, etc. All the while, I still felt like everyone else “had it” but me.
Recently, the scales fell off my eyes (just like the apostle Paul in the Bible (Acts 9)) and I saw Jesus again! I was reading a book entitled, “God Without Religion”, by Andrew Farley, on New Year’s Eve and by the next morning, I couldn’t’ put it down. He plainly explained grace in his book and brought me back to the “joy of my salvation” (Psalm 51:12). When Jesus said “It is finished” it was finished! I didn’t have to be concerned about “should, have to, mustn’t” words. Jesus covered everything. He left us with only two commandments: “Love God and love others.” We can’t love God until we know that God loves us. Once we know, we begin to love him. As we get to know more about his love for us, we begin to love him more and more and we want to tell others about Jesus.
Does this give us an excuse to keep living a life of sin? Why would we want to? Why, after being touched by his love, would we have any desire to do anything that would move our focus from that love? He said he will complete the work he started in us (Phil. 1:6), He will take us from glory to glory (2 Cor. 3:18). We are his forever, He tells us that we know his voice and no one can snatch us out of his hands, and because the Father has given us to him, no one can snatch us out of the Father’s hands. (John 10:26-29).
Humble? Who cares! Jesus loves me just as I am and will make me whole, through the Holy Spirit. I just have to love Him back and share that love with others. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM! (2 Cor. 3:17)
juliesramblings 